Applying the honeypot theory to Facebook. 

I think some of my friends are already doing this, but until now, I didn’t think there was method to their madness.  (There probably isn’t, most of them are narcissistic, and believe the world needs to know that they think “Domino’s is yummy.”)

In all seriousness, as I’m a big fan of privacy, there might be some merit to this idea.  What do you think?

I’m guessing most of you have heard that the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.  When it comes to gambling, there aren’t many games where reward to risk is less than the lottery.

But alas, I don’t want to talk about gambling today.  I want to talk about pizza.  I said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Nerds love pizza.  Probably even more than Jolt Cola or Mountain Dew.  So what does this have to do with math?  Well there is a pizza-tax being imposed on the mathematically challenged, and I’m here to call it out.

I stopped by Domino’s last night, because the billboard out front declared that they had “Large Pepperoni Pizza” for $4.99.  No, that isn’t a typo.  As much as I prefer the pizza from a small local restaurant over any of the local chain stores, I will eat a chain-store pizza…if the price is right. They called it the “Big Deal.”

$4.99 was definitely the right price, even less expensive than the Little Caesar’s special which resembles a Freschetta frozen pizza.

Back to the math—when I received my 10-slice *large* pizza, I was a little perplexed that the box was a rectangle, and seemed smaller than the usual Dominos large box.  I had already paid for it, and I was too hungry to debate, so I took the pie home and knew I needed to assess what I just bought.

Using a little math, I decided to compare the size of my pizza pie to the traditional pies you get at a chain store.  Here are the measurements and approximate surface areas of “Traditional Round Pizzas”:

As you can see, each size is progressively bigger than the last, and if we desired, we could compare value easy.  A large is roughly twice the surface area of a small, so if you can buy two small pizzas for less than a large costs, you should consider it.

Now let’s assess Domino’s 10 Slice Large “Big Deal”:

Perspective is a little off due to the camera lens.  Actual measurement corner-to-corner was slightly over 14 inches.  And remember, this is a comparison of size, not taste.

So how does the *Big Deal* measure up?

There you have it.  Slightly bigger than a small.  A true disappointment.

12% more toppings, and 24% more crust than a small.  Pathetic.  I suppose if you prefer crust to toppings, this might not be all bad news, as there is more circumference to a rectangle, than a circle with the same surface area.  For me though, as good as the crust is (it’s brushed with garlic butter), I’d prefer a better value.

So Domino’s, go ahead and keep selling the *Big Deal* if you must.  It isn’t even a bad-tasting pizza, as far as chain-store pizzas go.  But stop calling it a “Large Pizza,” please? 

It’s okay if your pi r-squared, (gratuitous nerd humor) but I prefer my pizza round.  That way I can quickly determine if you are trying to charge me the “tax reserved for people who are bad at math.”

As a self-admitted nerd, I have to say that I absolutely love pizza.  Not just the taste, but there are other reasons, some more nerdy than others:

1.)  I don’t have to prepare it, or leave my lair to get it.  While there are other delivery foods, most people think immediately of pizza when they don’t feel like cooking, and also don’t feel like even getting in the car to go get food.

2.)  It’s got all the food groups.  While hardly health conscious, I do try pay some measure of attention to what I put in my body.  Burgers and fries cover barely 3 food groups, and its debatable whether a pickle and small piece of lettuce can count as a serving of fruits and vegetables.

3.)  Shelf-life.  I can order a large pizza, and eat only a few slices.  The rest I can put in my refrigerator and eat cold for breakfast, or reheat it quickly if so inclined.  This is particularly important if you are a nerd who is a bit reclusive, since most delivery foods are not meals for one.

4.)  Value.  Pizza places are generally pretty competitive with coupons and such, but lately there has been an all-out price war.  For less than two meals at McDonald’s, you can get a large pizza pie, which usually gives me lunch, dinner, and breakfast the next morning.

5.)  It is so easy to order.  Traditionally calling is convenient, but ordering on the internet is so much cooler.  Domino’s for instance has a pizza tracker, which will tell you the name of the person making it, what time it went in the oven, and what time it went out for delivery, and the name of the person bringing it.  This should give you ample time to scrounge the sofa cushions to find a suitable tip for the delivery-person.

6.)  It’s customizable.  Burgers and fries can really only be made so many ways, while pizza options and topping combinations are virtually limitless.

7.)  Pizza is round.  Okay, most people probably don’t care what shape their food is, but in my case, I prefer that my “pies” can be measured using R^2.

I think that is pretty compelling evidence that pizza is the ultimate nerd food.  If you disagree, be sure to let me know.  If you can think of other reasons why pizza rules, let me know that too.

I was inspired to think about pizza this morning after reading an interesting article on why Dominos admitted their pizza sucks, and decided to reinvent their wheel.

Perhaps their market research also shows that nerds love pizza, and that is why they added the online pizza tracker?